This is a touch long, but… I had to vent ❤ Maybe it will help or inspire someone… either way it goes, it made ME feel better, so… win.
You know, I am honestly one of those people that tells others to fight for themselves and not deal with bad, etc but am the FIRST one to accept everything that is poured onto me. People have stress, hard times, bad days, etc.. and I’m always there for everyone (as much as I can be). I want to fix things and people and cuddle them when (it seems) no one else will. I think tonight I need to be reminded that it is OKAY for me to walk away from the bad. I’m a bright spirit and I know that. I KNOW and value my ability to see the silver lining in almost every situation and others that need something like that know where to turn.
When someone is in a situation and they don’t want to rise above it or fix it, you cannot force them to do that. You can listen, care for them, give advice, say a prayer, or whatever else it is that you do, but the bottom line is – they will do what they want to do. You might want to wrestle them to the ground and force-feed happiness or the “right way” (according to you) down their throat, but… that isn’t going to get the right results.
I’ve come to a stark realization recently. Well, its not new but I’m finally going to do something about it on my end, so… yeah. Anyway… when the same people have the same problems over and over it is not your job to fix that. You are just one person. You can’t force change. You can guide, but you cant make people take the steps they need to take to FIX things. HOWEVER, it is NOT your job to let their problems become YOUR problems. Know when to step away and put your hands up. It’s not “giving up”, its choosing your own sanity and peace and there’s not one thing wrong with that. Anyone that tries to tell you that it isn’t is one of those selfish people that expect people to be their emotional punching bag or be their savior. You can’t be that for anyone and shouldn’t. You can be their friend, lover, listener, but when their behavior starts effecting you or causing you stress, anxiety, hurt, or other bad thing, its time to stop it.
There is not ONE issue that has NO solution. And, it might seem “too easy”, but… honestly, the first step is to see it in a different way. Its not a bad thing to be positive. Hope is supposed to guide us. Even if things SUCK, you are alive to deal with them. If people are mean to you, YOU are letting them do that – stop it. People are going to do what you let them get away with. You are controlling that part of it. Walk.AWAY. If you are struggling, its upsetting, but someone is struggling more than you – AND there has to be a way to fix your situation or make it better. If you are sad, do something that you want to do that makes you happy. If things keep not going your way, change the game plan up. Do things in a new way. If your past is haunting you, find a way to rise above it. Your past is WAY the hell back there. As long as you ALLOW it to have chains on you and rule your present, all of the bad things and the negative people that hurt you are STILL winning. Do you want to give them that power? Or are you a badass that is happy they woke up today and ARE NOT stuck there still? Are you going to let sadness, bills, gross people, your appearance, or anything else stop you from smiling when the sun breaks through the clouds or when a baby kitten purrs in your lap? Every time you are sad, it was a choice. You CHOOSE. In every situation. You choose to either see negative or stay positive.
I’m not saying there aren’t situations that you just can’t see around at the moment. There are things I go through all the time. I want to scream, cry, throw things, or any combo of those, but then I get a grip on myself and realize I’m only breaking stuff and giving myself a headache. I choose to stop that action that is hurting me.
*side note* Stress really does HURT you. You might not know and, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but… stress can literally kill you. Is the guy that made a fat joke in your honor or the chick that got asked out instead of you worth a heart attack, weight gain, or other thing that harms your body? No? Okay then. At least we agree on that.
My most serious and honest advice is as follows:
Life is not about “putting up” with things and doing the minimum to be happy and just barely survive. It’s about living everyday to the best of your ability. Do things you love. Control your situations. Fulfill your promises. Embrace change. Wake up happy. Sleep peacefully knowing you are doing all you can to achieve your goals. Be happy and let those around you know that is all you’re willing to accept for the majority of your life. Handle stress and move on. Don’t let it surround you or be the center of your world. That is not why we were placed here on Earth. Follow your heart. Chase your dreams. DO HAPPY. You deserve it. And anyone that doesn’t support that is a naysayer and belongs in the cheap seats with the others watching you live life the right way.
Try new things. DO something. Don’t just sit there and tread water forever. MAKE a change. Force it if you have to. YOU are in control of YOU. Don’t let anyone or anything else have that power. You weren’t created to be someone else’s lapdog or scapegoat. Fight. Live. Smile. BE.
Don’t treat people as you want to be treated. If people treat you right, treat them right. If they are a giant jerk, let them know and walk the hell away. IF they cherish you, they will chase you and make a change. If they don’t, GOOD. Let them miss the hell out of you.